Saturday, February 23, 2013

It's alive! or how anxiety eats your brain.


Life ate me for while and I'mnot  entirely certain it's finished with me yet. But the good news is that I got my crazy, giant, time consuming, brain frying, eyeball melting book all done. My advice to those of you who buy the second book - don't try to make them all back after back after back get the idea. Also use good lighting. I got an Ott light for Giftmas and I love it.

Completing the book was hard, I felt like I was never going to get the time to work on it because I had to take on a part time job that often ends up being full time and then some. That led to anxiety about not having enough time and a desperate wish or two to stop time for a bit. That led to me feeling like a failure because my inner voice is a mean spirited little gremlin. All day long with the 'everyone else has there sh!t together why don't you?' and the 'you're gonna fail, why even try' - and those are the nice things she says.

When I feel like that it's really hard to concentrate, unless it's a facebook game because then I'm all 'hey everyone I ever met on facebook can you send me a (insert asinine, imaginary thing here)?'. I think the devil invented facebook games to suck all your will power, energy, and proper hygiene habits, into oblivion.

Oh and another fun little side effect as a result of the anxiety, gremlins, and facebeast, all your creativity and inherent skills have gone and hid in the basement...or something. So every task feels like it can never ever be accomplished. Yay life!

On the bright side, I finished the damn thing even with all that, and I have better idea of what it is I want out of my life. So there's that at least.

Also I made a ton of stuff, take a look.

That is the current line up of book 2 (there may be additions)

Hopefully it won't be eight months before my next post.

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